review of sweeny todd: 1.5 out of 5

I want to start off by saying that I did not like this movie before I even saw it and that might have something to do with the review. When I decided to go with my love on opening night I really was hoping I was going to be wrong about Tim Burton's movie Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street and that it was going to be a good film and not too comically bloody and not have a whole lot of actors singing badly. I am sorry to say I was right.

I wish I had written it down but when I first saw the previews, and my love can attest, I said "Its going to be a bad movie. It's going to be a Tim Burton does Quentin Tarantino" and it was badly so. A whole 15 - 20 minutes of the movie is the Johnny Depp slitting peoples throat causing blood to gush out semi-comically so that it caused members of the theater laugh uncomfortably.

All of the gushing blood seemed to damper the singing of the actors. I have heard that Johnny Depp does not do singing parts and I now know why. The only thing Tim Burton did right was cast his wife Helena Bonham Carter as Mrs. Lovett the meat pie shop owner below Todd's barber shop of horrors because she seemed to know what she was doing. With lyrics throughout the movie that either made no sense or were hard to understand, put to the same song over and over and over again I really had a hard time enjoying the movie and really wanted to be somewhere, anywhere!, else.

There were some funny scenes in it and I would like to see if it was just this rendition that did it poorly or is this how its supposed to be done. I hope to see it done differently sometime maybe I will find the original melodrama.

The pros:
Helena Bonham Carter
A dark and twisted tale
a handful of funny scenes
Johnny Depp
by the end I really wanted everyone to die and it actually happened

The Cons:
Alan Rickman
inappropriate bloody scenes
completely predictable plot
Johnny Depp singing
dragging plot
lyrics that make no sense
everybody's accent made the singing hard to understand
the two and half hours of my life will never get back

I give this movie:
1.5 out of 5 necks gushing blood uncontrollably

Looking back…

Ok wow! Wasn't that fun? It published it and it doesn't look funny or anything it just plain sent it down the tubes. I am hardly usually pleased with a Microsoft product as I am now. This is good because my update is still downloading at 27%. I decided to take a look back at my blog and see how long it had actually been since I actually posted something. It turns out that It has been since May when I posted last about my engagement to Breanne and so much has happened since then that I am surprised I haven't posted earlier. So here are the wonderful updates

 

First of all I posted about my pet frogs before and they are now dead. (ohh. 46% downloaded goody) Instead of trying for more amphibians (oh I spelled that correctly on the first try AMAZING!) we decided to get cats. 1 cat to be exact which turned into 2 when we found Jojo meowing at Gracie from the outside porch at 2 o'clock in the morning. Lo and behold Breanne fell instantly in love with Jojo and I was forced to open our house to another feline friend :D. ( oh its @ 89% downloaded)

 

Secondly we still don't have a date for the wedding. But we have a dress! And I saw it and I have forgotten what it looks like. I am supposed to because those are the rules. I think it is whitish and has beading on it. Apart from that I am pretty clueless. :( stuck at 89% oh wait there are sleeves… maybe..

 

I decided that going to College at OSU is not what I want to do so I decided to get my online degree at devry. I am already doing better so I think it was for the best.

 

Breanne is getting top notch grades for her quarter and has hospitals begging for her to work with them so she is very excited and nervous about graduating and having to take the NCLEX. You'll do fine Honey; you're a great nurse and even better at taking quizzes.

 

94%

 

Oh, I figure that since I have read enough web comics and I am a pretty funny guy I might start to make some of my own. I have no idea how to start or anything but it will be fun to see in the future how this doesn't actually happen. For a preview its going to have panels and characters and words. I have no idea how those will interact.

 

Well its almost 5 A.M now and Breanne should be getting up for work soon. I hope my loud typing hasn't woken her up. That is the update I will try as hard as I have been before to keep everyone who actually reads this posted. If you are reading this and aren't my future wife tell other people about it that know me if they want to know how I am doing twice a year :D

Its 4 a.m. and I am typing on my blog for the first time in a very long time

Hello everybody I am waiting to finish downloading/installing the windows vista SP1 RC1 and it is taking forever and so I decided to try out the "blog post" new document thingy in my Microsoft office 2007 Word. geeze, I sound like a walking windows advertisement. Oh wow its up to 13% downloaded, It was 7 when I started. Well I am going to push the Publish button and see what happens. This might be fun.